Amanda

Ok, kiddos...

My other journal, scream_my_love, is now finished (for now)! w00t! Go there & tell me what you think!

I'll prolly start using that one now. prolly.

So now scream_my_love isn't FRIENDS ONLY anymore. Happy now? ^_^ If you notice, there are -no- entries in it anymore. Well...none that any of YOU can view at least. Heh. They're all private now. Which means I am the only person who can view them. Just for my own self-pleasure. *evil grin*

I'll prolly be changing it up some too. New icon. Blah. I hate the one I have now on that el jay.

I'm gonna make scream_my_love my sole journal. The only one. When I decide to do it, I will post it on here. In the mean time, add that el jay to your friends list & I'll be sure to add you back.

Kthanx.

Ok, something else I should prolly mention before I end this entry...
Some people are already IMing me with "Why aren't you talking to me?"s.
...
Well, if you would read my journal, dears, then you would know, now wouldn't you?

I apologize in advance for my "lack of humor" in the sexuality department anymore. If you IM me talking about something sexual, you're going on block. Easy as that. Like I said in the previous entry, I <3 power.

I'm not being mean, I'm just making sure that MOST if not ALL of the temptation is gone. Got it, kids?


"I don't believe people are looking for the meaning of life as much as they are looking for the experience of being alive."
-Joseph Campbell


P.S.- My last 2 entries OWN your Friends page. ^_^

I've been thinking a little the last day or 2 about my relationship with God. I had a dream the other night (I talked about it in scream_my_love, my -other- el jay). Some crazy weird stuff happened & then at the end, I was talking to some one about getting my life right with God. I told Andy about it & then asked,"Maybe its foreshadowing?" He said he didn't know. I really didn't expect him to, I guess. How can he possibly understand? Then I explained to him what I predict will happen:

-He'll leave in a few weeks to go to Tennessee for the summer.
-I'll get bummed out & go into a deep depression because the -ONE- person whom I've revolved my life around the past few months is leaving.
-After getting depressed, I'll finally give it to God.

It's happened before. But I'd rather skip the whole depression stage this time. So thats what I've been thinking about. What to do. I mean, do I really wanna continue this type of relationship with Andy & risk getting all depressed once he leaves?

I've also talked in my other journal about me being at a fork in the road as far as where my life is headed right now. I feel like this decision I make may hurt Andy a lot. It may hurt me even more, though. *sigh*

I also talked to Jay today about looking into NorthEast. Its crossed my mind a few times. I have another friend thats a youth minister in Tupelo (right by the school) & I could possibly get an internship there. I told Jay that I -need- to get away although I didn't tell him why. I just said that I've screwed up my life pretty bad & the only way I feel like I can get it back is if I just move away. Michigan was a possibility, but I don't see myself moving there any time soon.

I'm thinking of sticking with my other journal & deleting this one. If thats the case, then I'll delete my other entries in it & make it Public. Haven't decided yet though.

One more thing...

I'm gonna be editting my buddy lists. Yahoo & AIM. I'm taking everyone off that I feel like would bring me down. If I don't respond to your IMs, just know that its cuz I took you off. Bwah hah hah. I <3 power! ^_^

So I'm sitting here, talking to Jay, & trying to download his band's (Four Too Many video)video. It's -really- good.

I went out with some guy from MC tonight. I don't know his name. It's written down somewhere though. He's a friend of Morgan's. We went to Starbucks & sat outside & just talked. It was -VERY- boring. Boring is an understatement, actually. *sigh* I'm being mean, sorry.

I'm back from Nikki's. I left my book of phone numbers over there though. *sigh* It has -everyone's- phone number in it. So if I don't call you for a while, sorry. It's cuz I don't have your number.

Chad made soccer allstars. w00t w00t! Now hes playing baseball, rec soccer, & soccer allstars. Heh. He has a state tournament at the Reservoir next weekend. We're gonna mohawk his hair & get some red hair dye (not permanent). It's gonna be awesome. I'll try to post pics of it.

I got $117 back from the government. I am a rich girl! Can't tell what I'm using it for but I will soon. *winks*

My dads wanting to move. I dunno if we actually are or not, but he wants to. He wants to move a little closer to his work. We went to look at apartments/duplexes today but didn't find any we liked. Actually, -I- found some that I liked, but they were too expensive.

My dad -may- be going outta town again. If he does, he'll be leaving Wednesday & coming back Friday. He said that if I can find a girl to stay here with me, that I can stay. Otherwise, its back to Nikki's. So, yeah, I'm trying my darnedest to find a girl. I called my friend Meagan from Terry but I dunno if she'll be able to or not. She lives on campus at Hinds & works there, also. If she can't then I'm gonna call DeAnn. *grins* I'm excited!

I'm watching South Park. heh.

I don't know how to blow my nose. Is that bad? Every time I try, I just make my ears pop & I get a headache.

Do you ever put peanuts in your dark drinks (i.e.: Dr Pepper, Coca Cola, Pepsi.)? It's really good.

Anddddddddddddddd post!

Being sick makes me emotional. I dunno why but every time I get sick, I cry a lot. Like a few minutes ago, Andy told me he didn't know if he could call tonight & I started to cry. Of course I didn't tell HIM that, but still. Did I mention how much I -hate- being sick?!?

I miss my Andy. *sheds tear*

I'm still sick. Grr. It went away kinda. Well, the fever did. But then I woke up this morning & the fever was back. I took some more medicine so hopefully it'll go away soon. :(

I'm sick. Grr. & it sucks! I've had a headache since Sunday then yesterday my nose got all stopped up & now I'm running a fever. *sigh* I'm -always- sick.

To make matters worse, I woke up this morning to Daniel pampering Nikki cuz SHE'S sick too. It makes me really wish that I had a boyfriend to do that to me. *sheds tear* Heh. (Nikki, if you're reading this, I am -not- jealous of you! Nor will I -ever- be! ...Just wanted to make that clear.)

So yeah, since I'm sick, I expect a lot of nice posts! *grins*